The Fire Inside

“You are not special; women squat in fields”. That quote from Shonda Rhimes’ limited series Inventing Anna popped into my head this morning as I was in full-blown tears. 

Why was I a snotty mess? I endured another micro-aggression and I lost it! “Woe is me” was coming for me…and fast. I hopped in the shower and fell apart. “I can’t do this! Things like this always to me.”

“You are not special; women squat in fields.”

Unfortunately, I am not special. Black women have always been seen as a threat in spaces where we are not wanted. We are witnessing it right now with the highest court in the United States. We have always been shushed and pushed into a corner for simply having the audacity to exist. Add a little “I know what I’m doing” on top of it, and the micro-muzzles suddenly appear. From being omitted on email chains, questions about whether or not we should be invited to important work events, or simply overstepping — Black women are continuously left to maneuver our way through the minefield of mind games we had no part in creating.

The pep talks we give ourselves and friends are evidence of how much mental stability it takes to make a living. That’s it. In 2022, I am still amazed at the number of times I hear, “the first Black person to ever… ” Had society let us shine from the beginning, the world would not stop every time we do something that’s considered groundbreaking because, duh! 

So now, you are forced to watch us graciously fight our way out of that dark corner in “scriberia” (Seriously, watch the show) and deal with the fact that no matter how hard you try, no passive-aggressive knife to the back will hinder greatness. Stars don’t shine; they burn, and we will continue to blaze the trail no matter how many extinguishers you throw at us. Get used to it.